Ode to an hour, or a puppy.

Best bulimic ever.-2.jpg

I missed an hour more than this one time in Cali. I realized several things on that trip: 

  • Wow, my sister is super rich
  • It’s really f*cking sunny here 
  • I’m not sure why we live in Pittsburgh
  • Yes, I am, traffic is the worst
  • I’m so f*cking tired in Cali

Anyway, I missed more than one hour in Cali, but today I just miss one. 

It’s 5:39 a.m. and we have a puppy who knows nothing of Daylight Saving Time. 

There is no "s" on Saving by the way. I find it best to get things right when they are the things that I'm currently raging against. I took the time to look up Daylight Saving Time and no "s" in sight. I thought it was Savings, too. I am often wrong, especially when I'm tired. 

It doesn't really matter what time it is or isn't and if there's an "s" involved, my puppy is hungry. I’m not sure if I should drink coffee or cry, so I’m writing. I’m already contemplating my future nap with romanticism that only real dreamers could understand. It’s going to be long, warm and reminiscent of the naps I take when Aikman calls the 4 p.m. game on FOX. Does that always happen? …  I don’t know, I am usually asleep. 

I’m wondering if my puppy will realize that he’s missing that hour of sleep and how long it will take him to reach said conclusion. Right now he’s trying to eat paper while playing with a plastic bag.

My little boy Blue has no idea I’m mad at him. Truth be told, it’s not really anger, it’s more like jealousy wrapped in envy topped with why the f*ck are you so at peace with the loss of an hour, drastic changes in temperature and pretty much everything that goes down?

It’s not like Blue's some dummy. He's smart enough to get everything he needs when he needs it, and if he doesn't, he shits on the floor.

This blog was supposed to be an ode to an hour, but ended up being about my dog. And just like that, art imitates life. During this particular artistic endeavor, my puppy pooped on the floor. It’s my fault. I didn’t let him hang out long enough to take care of business. Not only was it too early to be hanging out in the cul-de-sac, it was also 20 degrees. I suspect it was warmer and earlier in Cali. I should call my rich sister to confirm.